First of all, again, I must remind you that the Robin statue is only available for the low preorder price of $34.95 until next Wednesday, November 10! After that she's $39.95!  Time is running out!

Also, another reminder that I'm going to be at New England Webcomics Weekend in Easthampton, Massachusetts, this weekend!  Come to me and I will love you.

Back to toys!

Oh my god, getting this guy was an ordeal.  I ordered him from HasbroToyShop.com like nearly a month ago, right?  And HTS isn't quite as speedy at shipping as, say, BigBadToyStore.com, which is fine, so I was pretty patient about it arriving.  But a few weeks later I looked at the tracking number they gave me, and the website told me that USPS delivered the package three days ago.  And that they had left a notice.

They had not.

In fact, I was home all that morning, right by the front door, playing Rock Band 3!  Well, okay, fine.  Easily solved.  I'll just go down to the post office and pick it up.  I went down there, told them that I had a package delivery without a notice, and the lady throws her hands up in the air, noting that I am the tenth person who had that complaint that morning, oh my god.  So, hey, an epidemic.  No big.  Just give me my package.

But, ha ha, it's not there.  It's probably on the truck again for redelivery!  All right.  I won't be home to get it and will have to get a notice (since it has "Delivery Confirmation" for some reason), since I'm about to get on the road for the Rally to Restore Sanity, so I'll just  wait until I get back on Monday.  And, ha ha ha, on Monday, there's still no notice.  I go back to the post office.  They still don't know where it is.  Lady takes my phone number and gives me hers, and she says she'll investigate it herself.

So the next day, I'm on the way back from dropping Maggie off at school, and figger I should stop by the post office just in case, to keep in touch.  At this rate, I'm worried the damn thing will be sent back.  (If they can find it.)  I get a different lady, and she says she can't find my package anywhere, and directs me to the bigger post office down the road.  Okay, maybe it's there!

It's not.

Anyway, THAT post office gives me a number to call at 8:30 the next morning, which is crucial, because I have to catch our mail carrier before he leaves on his route.  I do so, talk to the guy, and he has no idea.  He says he hasn't even dropped off any packages on my doorstep for like forever.  (Later, I think to myself, wondering the veracity of such a statement since Maggie's been getting packages all week, and I got my Machine of Death book delivered the day we left for the Rally.  Hrn.)  Anyway, he said he'd keep an eye out for my completely lost package.

Next day, I hear the mail come (very distinctive sound, and it could wake me up even from the deepest sleep, like Christmas morning) and look out on the front porch.  There's my package.  No explanation, no request for delivery confirmation, it's just sitting there.

Well, okay.

Anyway, this is the goddamn fucking The Fallen.  Another one.  He's dark blue and teal, which is the basic color he was in the movie, minus the, uh, teal.  What makes him special are all the retoolings done.  First of all, oh my god, removable face.  His face comes off so that children can simulate the gruesome violence done to The Fallen in the movie they probably shouldn't see.  Underneath is his gasping skull.

This retooling means that The Fallen loses the little spring-loaded "energy panels" that were behind his head for the other versions, but I'd say that's a fair trade.

This new The Fallen also comes with his "Command Staff," the weapon we see him use in the film to levitate tanks and stuff.  For vehicle mode, it folds in half and plugs underneath him, sorta splaying out his vehi-ass.   Since the original Fallen's hands were flat open palms, that means that he needed new hands so he could grasp his weapon, and he does.  They're jointed in an odd way.  The Command Staff plugs into his palm plainly enough, but his fingers fold... backwards, in a way irrelevant to how he holds his staff.  I am not sure why.  It isn't useful articulation, since the hands don't look good if you utilize the joint.  And it doesn't seem to be used for transformation.  So who knows.

Since the Command Staff has to fold in half to store in vehicle mode, that means Optimus Prime can wrest it around The Fallen's neck like he did when he shivved his face off.  That's a neat double feature.  It's a little disappointing that Optimus Prime can't really hold it, though.  He just sorta has to paw at the ends.

Also disappointing is how loosely the Fallen's face falls off his skull.  It has trouble staying on.  There are two very small tabs at the bottom of the chin and the top of the forehead.  These are not enough.  You will spend a lot of time trying to fasten the face back on.

Oh, and, wow, plastic tolerances are crazy bad on this thing.   His legs looove to come off.  It's kind of infuriating.

So, anyway, I'm glad I spent hours trying to track this thing down.  Go me.

Since I love my The Fallens, I was predictably gung-ho about the "Victory of The Fallen" Legends Class five-pack.  It's exclusive to Kmart and it has a tiny adorable version of my favorite The Fallen deco.  You know, the bright orange and black one.  (La Porte Slicers colors.)  It's also nice that the other four guys he comes with -- Prime, Jetfire, Starscream, and Megatron -- are all Legends Class figures that I don't own.

But what I was especially excited for, stupidly, was the "Most-Wanted Decepticons" collectors card that comes in the package.  There's a code on the back that you plug into the official website, promising you the completion to the story which was set up on the back of the packaging.  C'mon, the set's literally named "The Victory of the Fallen!"  There's got to be an awesome finale described where he totally succeeds at killing the Solar System and getting his titular revenge.  Maybe this time it's Optimus Prime who gets his face taken!

Of course not.  Once you register for the site and input your code, all it tells you is the ending to the live-action film.  Laaaaaaaaaaaaaame.  This is not the victory I was promised!  Curse you,  Hasbro.  Your lies sting my gullible soul.

How does this keep happening to a dude who has like two or three Tech Spec stats that are rated infinite?

Just a random war.

Y'know.  For Cybertron.